Things that Matter Most: Heritage. Legacy.

I picked up a little Hallmark gift book last week entitled "50 things that really matter" that was sitting on Aliyah's bookshelf. Don't know where it came from really, but it kinda got to the heart of what I had been sitting there pondering. What does life boil down to? and what things am I going to drive my stake in the ground for and make so important in my family's life that it will eventually be something I/we are known for? These thoughts combined with the little book appearing really made me wonder if it was a "sign from God".

 

I opened the book, and cried at some of the little stories that I read, and laughed at others. I also started jotting down things that "really matter" to me. I thought it would be interesting to start a chain of posts describing this very thing, and delving into them as time and thoughtfulness allow. Of course, I came up with a long list of things that matter in a rather short period of time. Some were rather standard answers most of us give, like: family, faith, friends, health, etc... Some were a little more peculiar to my own personality, beliefs, interests, etc... And, some I hope to discover and treasure along life's journey.

 

Then, I went to MOPS Wednesday. It was like a little spotlight shone down, and a chorus of angels appeared singing "Aaaah" (you know! in that high, pretty, choir-y sound. haha!). Our speaker was Olivia Bruner- her husband Kurt directed (?) the Adventures in Odyssey radio show by Focus on the Family until recently. That was exciting in and of itself. Then, she started speaking on creating a Strong Heritage and a Spiritual Legacy for our children. Wow! She hit the nail on the head. That was one of the things I had right at the top of my list of things that matter. Okay, so now you've got my attention God. :) I must have needed to be there (I did get to go despite the fact that all 3 kids were varying levels of sick- my mom nudged me to go while she stayed with them.)

 

I have to add, I wasn't sure that I knew "how" to go about giving our children these things except to live out my life as an example to them, take them to church, teach them daily Scriptures & Biblical principles. You know. The typical Christian family things you do. We even throw in family devotion/ prayer time several times a week. Overall, we're doing pretty good on being an example. (Well, should I say, I hope we're doing a good job. ?)  We also do pretty good at planning family activities with the children. Thus all the pics of us doing crazy fun things all over the place. :)

Anyways, I was excited when Olivia gave us some handouts, some ideas, and some good books to read up on how to be intentional in creating an environment, and impression points to "create" a heritage and a legacy. How do you go about it? What does it even mean?

I'm just going to share what she shared with us, because I am NOT an expert on the subject. At all. I'm just learning, and experiencing these things for the 1st time myself. Are you ready? Ok, here we go.

1st- What is a Heritage? A heritage is the social, emotional, and spiritual legacy that is passed from parent to child... good or bad.

• Social Legacy- Giving children the insight and skills necessary to cultivate healthy and stable relationships.
• Emotional Legacy- An enduring sense of security and stability, nurtured in an environment of safety and love.
• Spiritual Legacy- The process whereby parents model and reinforce the spiritual realities of the spiritual life.

2nd- The Two "Secret Ingredients"

• Relationship (Creating an evironment)
• Affection
• Respect
• Order
• Merriment
• Affirmation

Which all spell AROMA. :) She obviously connected the dots by discussing each one in depth. The one I don't think I do well with is Affirmation. She suggested John Trent's books "Bedtime Blessings", and "The Blessing" . I do hope to purchase these books soon, and learn more about this topic. I also realized as she was speaking on the Respect aspect that I desire that to be a part, but I need to hone my skills at speaking respectfully to my family members, as well as help them learn to do this as well (the kids, not my husband! ha!). Affection- easy, peasy at the ages our children are right now. I'm sure it will get harder as they get older, and we'll have to work it out. Order- at times this happens, and I know how to, just doesn't always happen. :) Merriment- my hubby definitely has a corner on this one. :) He keeps us laughing and smiling a lot.

• Intentionality (Creating impression points)
• Make it Fun
• Keep it Simple
• Don't Dominate
• Go with the Flow
• Mix it Up
• Do it Often

She was primarily using this point to explain having a weekly Family Night. I had heard about the Family Night Toolchest on Focus on the Family, Family Life Today, and such. I had even researched it a few years ago, to no avail. However, she said it was finally back in... at Heritage Builders. That link will take you to the page that shows the different "tool chest" books. I hope this will help anyone out there who wants to do similar things with their families. I did purchase her little "Just Add Family" kit that had a few things to do for a year, and will most likely be posting about any of the activities we do from it as well.

She also gave us some quick ideas ( I think they can also be found in their kit), which I'll share as well.

• Holidays- reinforce spiritual themes. Suggested items: "What God Wants for Christmas" and Resurrection Eggs
• Mealtime Moments- Take time to discuss everyday concerns and spiritual topics. Suggested: High-Low game: each person tells the high and low of their day; Family Time cards
• Bedtime Blessings- An opportunity for spiritual training, affirmations of love, and family prayers. She suggested if you have multiple children to pick a night for each one of your kids to have their own special time.
• Drive-Time Listening- Of course, she put a plug in for Adventures in Odyssey, which I grew up with; as well as other books on CD, like Chronicles of Narnia. Also, she mentioned that this is the time our children are "captives", so it's a great time to talk with them, and have fun. (In example: road trip games).

Okay, I just did a huge amount of sharing from what I learned. I am so excited to get started on doing Family Nights, for one. I know our kiddos are still little, so driving home Biblical truths in practical, fun ways will be challenging. But I still can't wait!!

Hope you can join us in pursuit of intentionally building relationships with our children, and working out passing on a strong heritage as well as a spiritual legacy.

Blessings! -Sarah