My Musings: How to get over the "nagging wife syndrome".

God's been chiseling at my heart again.

For some reason,

I feel the need to share here on my blog

the things that I'm working on in my spiritual life.

I guess because I hope that it will

be an encouragement to someone else out there

going through the same things.

I'm raising my hand really high here.

In fact,

I'll just go ahead and claim the highest

hand-raised in the collective 'room' right now.

Who out there feels that they "nag"

their dear ones- sometimes continually?

Maybe you call it by a different name...

Like:

"remind",

"tease",

"scold",

"annoy"

"fret or worry"?

Am I the only one?

I don't really think so,

but I know it's hard to own up to.

I hate to admit it...

but I do nag my dear husband,

and sometimes my kids.

Goodness- if you throw in the

"mother-hen" syndrome of my

1st born child tendencies-

I probably "nag" everyone that I'm related to!

(I'm kind of laughing about that one.)

I don't want to nag.

Why do I nag, still, then?

What the apostle Paul said comes to mind,

(Read Romans 7 in the Bible)

"For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,)

 dwelleth no good thing:

 for to will is present with me;

 but how to perform that which is good

 I find not.

For the good that I would

 I do not:

 but the evil which I would not,

 that I do."

I've thought about this nagging thing for a long time.

Sometimes I get so disgusted with myself,

and my dear hubby and I actually have talks about it.

(Not the kind of talks where I feel shame,

but the kind where I'm apologizing,

and trying to figure out a way to work on it.)

Recently, a lady in my church said something to me

about this very thing.

And for some reason,

this time,

it stuck in my head.

(You see, this is not the 1st time somebody said

this to me.)

I'm a little slow to catch on sometimes. :)

She was describing how she would get

"annoyed" with her husband over little things,

like the whiskers in the sink,

and I'm sure you could fill in the blank

with your own little idio-syncrises right there.

(I know I could!)

And then, she said,

I just realized that I was making not only

my husband miserable, but also myself.

And she said that she was reminded by someone

in her church that was a widow,

what she wouldn't give to pick up

those socks off the floor for her husband

just one more time.

(**Tears**! Sniffle, sniffle!)

Okay.

That jerked my heart.

And then,

she gave me a piece of wisdom

that I just knew I needed to implement,

and share, too.

She said...

I changed my thought pattern from that

day forward...

Everytime a complaint would come

across my lips,

I would then try to remind myself

to Thank God for the husband that

He gave me!

She also said it was not an

instantaneous thought change

It was something she had to work on.

Can I just tell you?

She is one of the most joyful people I know!

So, I've been working on that for the last

few weeks.

(Believe it or not, Honey. :)

It's definitely a process,

and I'm definitely stuck in my old rut

of wanting to complain,

and tell him just what he should have done,

and how to do it "better" (insert- {my way}).

It's gonna take a major mental overhaul

to get me out of this rut.

But I really,

REALLY,

REALLY

want this.

I want to have that joy in my marriage,

that I know that can come from not nagging.

Anybody else with me?!

I need some accountability.

I really want this to work.

Dear God,

Please help me be able to change my

nagging, and complaining thoughts,

before they process into words,

into joyful thanksgiving for

the person who you gave me

to love.

And show that love to him

(them)

by not allowing the nagging to cross my lips.

Thank you, Lord,

for your Word,

for your sweet, joyful servant

sharing her testimony with me,

for my sweet husband,

and my darling children.

Love,

Sarah